The transition from wearing diapers to real “underwear” – often referred to as “potty training” – can be one of incredible stress and anxiety. Each toddler meets this challenge in their own way. She or he may sit on the potty for 45 minutes without any results only to soak the carpet one minute later. Others want to use the potty every 5 minutes while you are busy preparing a meal.
It can be very frustrating for you. We may never fully understand all the reasons why our children behave this way. They don’t understand it either, after all, they are still a baby. We do know that any message that says your child’s value depends upon performance can have significant negative consequences. This is not about being good or bad. They need to know you love them even when they don’t “perform” on the potty.
As you work with your child, keep some of these tips in mind:
The Do’s and Don’ts of Potty Training for Parents
Do’s
- Do invite them in when you use the bathroom.
- Do ask them “do you need to go to the potty?” if they look like they need reminding.
- Do watch the clock closely for regular patterns of elimination and take them to the potty at the right time.
- Do let the toddler use the potty when they want to.
- Do switch from diapers to training pants (but never insist).
- Do dress them in clothes they can get out of quickly. In the house, training pants only or pants with elastic waist that pull down quick.
- Do teach them to wipe.
- Do teach them to pull up their pants.
- Do teach them to wash their hands.
- Do appreciate when your toddler tries to use the potty.
- Do appreciate when your toddler reports an “after the fact” in their diaper or training pants. This recognition of body signals is a step in the right direction.
- Do praise accomplishments and overlook accidents.
- Do be patient with relapses.
- Do have something to read in the bathroom.
- Do remember, your toddler will learn to use the toilet!
Dont’s
- Don’t force them to sit on the potty.
- Don’t flush in the presence of your toddler if they have a fear or are upset by flushing the toilet.
- Don’t use good or bad in relation to toilet training. Instead of saying “what a good girl you are” commend the act “what a great job you did”.
- Don’t make the bathroom a battle-ground. If you meet with total resistance wait till your child is a little older.
- Don’t shame or punish.
- Don’t give up hope. He or she won’t want to wear a diaper forever.
